SPRING: New Beginnings

I've been thinking about starting this blog for awhile. Had to come up with a good name, then I found the term "gut instincts" in a novel I was reading and AHA! that's the perfect name for my blog. You see, about 4 years ago I decided to stop dieting even though I am well over 200 pounds. I've been on many diets in my life. Weight Watchers. Diet Workshop. Jenny Craig. NutriSystem. Cabbage Soup Diet. Slimfast. Best Life Diet (if Oprah can do it, so can I). Abs Diet. Dr. Phil's Ultimate. Hi-Protein, Low Carb. South Beach. Atkins. You name it, I've tried it. Yes, I did lose weight on them, but the minute I went off the diet, I gained the weight back. Like food are magnets and I'm a fridge (or at least the size of one...haha).

Sometime in 2003, my doctor sent me to a nutritionist because she demanded I lose weight for health reasons...she threatened gastric bypass as an alternative. Scared, off to the nutritionist I went. Skinny bitch, oops, I mean the nice nutritionist recommended I read a book titled, "Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works." On that day she weighed me and I was at my highest weight ever...254 pounds on a 5'3" body. I weighed more than my 5'11" brother. I bought the book that day and read it in one sitting. It made sense. I could do this...for life. I started eating Intuitively that day. I lost 30 pounds...it took a year but I didn't care, I lost weight. I was on my way...

FAST FORWARD to:
Easter Sunday 2007, a day we celebrate Christ's Resurrection. A day of new beginnings and renewal. For me, a day to reflect...on what the hell am I doing to my body? Today, my daughters, my sister, brother-in-law and I ate a delicious Easter dinner, ham, mashed potatoes, boiled onions, corn, asparagus, salad, and a myriad of desserts, molten cake, almond cake and tiramasu. With my full aching, bloated stomach, I put away leftovers, gave some to my sister, washed the dishes AND vowed to eat better and eat less.

Somewhere along the line, not sure when, I've gone back to overeating and not listening to my body...not eating intuitively. So today I pledged to myself (yes, once again) this is the year I lose weight and get healthy. Tired of feeling tired and being fat. The scale has been creeping back up for awhile and today I did a brave, or maybe it's a stupid thing...I weighed myself 5 hours after dinner....and I'm almost right back to where I was 4 years ago. Another brave thing...being honest about my weight on a blog...242 pounds...a mere 12 less than my highest weight and lowest point. I'm ready. I'm hoping this blog will keep me honest, motivated, supported and I hope it helps someone else out there struggling with their weight.